A Tragic Tale of Sexual and Domestic Abuse

Emilys Story (Name Changed)

“My heart was dark and empty and I’d built my walls up high, we had been friends a long time and I trusted you. How wrong could I have been?

I slowly allowed you to be more than just a friend, you made me laugh, smile we got on so well and you were always full of compliments.

We slowly progressed to a bit more than friends but things needed to be kept private between me and you I wasn’t ready for another heartbreak.  For a time you were happy with that. Until I was having a night out with the girls. Suddenly it had to become public knowledge and on social media. I wasn’t quite ready for that but reluctantly agreed as I know it made you happy.  That was it! Everything had to be all over social media, little did I understand at the time i was part of some war…

Over time, you’d begin to laugh in my face telling me that you’d brag about our sex life to your mates and work colleagues. I felt humiliated that people were knowing private intimate details about me.

Days out, holidays birthdays and so on were ruined by your temper tantrums about sex. Your days off had to be spent with me constantly giving you sex otherwise you wouldn’t spend any time with me.

You started video calling me if you noticed my car wasn’t on the drive wanting to know where I was and if I didn’t answer I must have been shagging someone else right?! There were times where even your own kids would say” I don’t know why you bother with him the way he is with you”

You’d have nights out and tell me I have to leave the door unlocked have the kit on (stockings and suspenders were your favourite thing) legs spread and ready for you. 

One particular night sticks in my head I was just drifting off to sleep then from nowhere you said” if I ever see you with another mad I’ll slit your throat. And that’s not a threat it’s a promise!”

Over time the sex got worse, you got so rough with me, you were almost twice my weight. You’d be that rough that the tears would fall. You’d stop and say “well I need to smash you” and once the tears had stopped you’d start all over again. The bottom half of my body always had bruises new and old each one a perfect imprint of each of your fingers where you’d squeezed me so hard.

The criticism started about my body, my stomach was too big and I needed to diet but of course there was never any flaws with yours…

Slowly I’d find out that you’d been meeting other women… people would tell me things or messages would come up o. Your phone…. over night all trace of me from your social media had vanished like I was never a part of your life. When you’d turn up at my house demoing dinner and sex your car would be hidden so no one knows you were here. More often than not I’d give into the sex demands to shut you up but you wouldn’t bath for days on end and the smell of you would make me heave.

 One ocassion you turned up at my house drunk, kicking things, throwing things , calling me every name under the sun and I ended up wearing the contents of your take away before you fell asleep in my bed and I had the sofa..of course the next morning it never happened and you’d go home the. If I wasn’t going to give you hangover sex

We slowly stopped being seen out together why should we go out if there was going to be no sex when we got home? But when you did take me out you’d drive as fast as you could as you knew it terrified me, then look at me laugh and tell me you love winding me up as you know I’ll f**k better the next time we have sex.

 The last time I ever let you have sex with me you were so rough I was praying you’d finish soon as the pain was unbearable but like you always said you had to hang on for as long as possible. That particular night I felt the warm of your spit on me and then laughing. Enough was enough. I felt ashamed, humiliated, degraded and worthless. Again it never happened.

Of course there were occasions that you were nice we’d go out there would be the odd gift here and there but then demand sex for it on the way home or at home.

The only other times you were really nice was when you wanted money out of me. As soon as you’d have it I got the silent treatment or the goal post as to when I’d get it back got moved.

You had me so low at times I often wondered if I wasn’t around anymore you’d finally be happy and I’d have done something right for once. These thoughts soon resolved when I pictured it happening and you laughing about it.

This is just a small part of my story, abuse isn’t always being beaten it comes in many forms, and took me a while to realise what was happening to me.

If you ever find yourself in a position like I was please take the steps to get out and be free. So that you can be happy again and slowly over time learn to love yourself again and heal from it.

No one has the right to hurt anyone in any way physical or emotional! Xxx”